


More three a.m. randomness

by TheMostCrimsonOfCalicos



Series: It's three, why aren't I asleep? [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Being rude to milk, Gen, Possible Pokemon Sun and Moon spoilers, Randomness, Rants about Pokemon, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 15:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8806057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMostCrimsonOfCalicos/pseuds/TheMostCrimsonOfCalicos
Summary: Silk milk and soy milk and pokemon rants and watermelons.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I. Just woke up at 2:59. The universe knows how it is.
> 
> (Also, to the one who inspired me to write more of this, and you should know precisely who you are, again, thank you. I had a lot of fun writing this.)

Silk milk or soy milk, that is the question.

Because, if I'm not mistaken, I've tried both.

And they were both...

Disgusting.

But, if I had to chose one, I suppose I'd chose silk, cause it sounds prettier.

Ye.

* * *

There was once a cat, who sat on a mat. Cat went to have a chat, with a little kat.

The kit-kat kind.

* * *

So like, Cosmog.

You know that Pokemon, right? 

I was. So happy when I got the timing right and was able to get one.

And then, I saw its moveset.

And I had a fuckin' hissy fit.

Because, motherfucker, how dare you.

All my hard work.

And all you knew.

Was Splash.

Does one ever understand how much of a slap in the face that is? How dare.

I wouldn't have even minded just using Struggle.

But.

What sane person is gonna waste 40 turns, somehow still be alive, and then basically murder themselves. 

Because Struggle will not let you win.

And then, it learns another move.

I'm all excited.

The move doesn't even have to be a strong one.

But, no.

Of course, another bitch-slap was incoming. 

I was not prepared.

It learned.

The most strongest of moves.

It was.

Teleport.

 

I think I might have cried after that.

 

And, like.

I had a dream a while back, that the last move it would learn would be Cosmic Power.

And I'm just.

But.

Why?

To what purpose do you need a move like that?

I don't. I don't understand.

If you don't know, Cosmic Power is a stat changing move. It ups your stats.

But like, Cosmog can't attack.

Why have you done this Cosmog .

But like, in all honesty. I think you need that other Solgaleo or Lunala, depending.

Cause, in the desert right?

Where Tapu Bulu is.

Oh, and I've got a rant about that guy.

But like, the old man that's there. He's talking about a Solgaleo, I have sun and I can only assume it's the same, just talking about the opposite legendary, in moon.

What I'm saying is, I think give that man a sun or moon legendary, that evolved from the secret cosmog.

I don't know what'd happen, and I'm super curious, but like, too lazy.

* * *

Water taste good.

And no one can tell me otherwise.

* * *

So Tapu Bulu, right.

Oh. And, by the way, fuck Tapu Fini.

Her and her Aqua Rings can go fuck themselves.

Anyway, Tapu Bulu.

I actually really liked this guys fight. It was channeling, but fair.

Which I really needed after the Tapu Fini fight.

But, here's the thing.

I don't like catching legendaries in Master Balls, or, like a lot of people, in Ultra Balls.

Like, I caught Solgaleo in a Dusk Ball.

The irony was delicious.

And I caught Tapu Koko in a Great Ball.

Also fuck Lilly for not letting you save before that. Fainting it and then having to take on Kukui about three times over was great, thanks.

Fuck Solgaleo too, he was in on that shit.

But, back to Bulu.

So I want to catch it in a cool ball, right?

And I'm like, 'I still have those Beast Balls. That would look awesome,' so I start chucking Beast Balls. 

And, I already knew how low the catch was for the Beast Balls on regular pokemon. As a legendary, I'm pretty sure that Bulu's catch rate was p low.

But, I had to try.

I throw the last of my 40+ Beast Balls, they don't catch, and I'm kind of shrugging it off. It's coo, I'm not mad.

And while I'm trying to catch it I'm sitting next to my friend and he's watching and he says something like "Now you through a Pokeball and it works".

So I was gonna throw one anyway, just before I tried using my Timer Ball.

So I do.

And I'm like "watch it catch". With this knowing look on my face, but really, it was just a facade. I was not ready.

And it wiggles.

And I'm like, "look at this". But really I'm thinking it's gonna jump.

And it wiggles again, and my friend's giggling.

And then it wiggles a last time, and my friend is sqealing while I'm reeling.

And then it catches.

I just flopped on the couch while my friend laughed at me.

So yeah.

Tapu Bulu was caught in a Poke Ball.

* * *

  _Quotes by TheMostCrimsonOfCalicos_

"I don't know how to life."

"*Squeak*"

"I always sang the toys r s song, what happened?"

"He go."

"He run."

* * *

You ever just wake up as a watermelon?

Isn't that weird.

And then you gotta try not to eat yourself.

For the sake of not eating yourself and not becoming a cannibal.

It's okay though.

Cause you'd be a watermelon.

They don't have mouths.

...

If you woke up as a watermelon, would you even know that you were a watermelon?

You probably wouldn't, cause, watermelon.

You'd just be a watermelon, and you'd just BE.

Whoa. 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's four something now, so I had to stop.


End file.
